The Bartlinski Bunch

" Teresa "

" Teresa "

Teresa "Fang Fang " Bartlinski

Teresa was born on December 25, 2006 in China. She was born with a very complex heart condition. In July 2010, GOD added Teresa to our family through adoption. We have been blessed with 9 wonderful children. Gods grace has woven us together as a family. Upon bringing Teresa home from China we unfortunately learned she not only needed a heart transplant but also a lung transplant. Her doctors feel she would not survive this operation. Please help us to pray for a miracle for Teresa's heart and lungs to be healed. She is a very special little soul who has touched so many lives around the world ...

Friday, July 12, 2013

Soul Mate

On July 10, 2010,  I met my soul mate.  On July13,2010 , she became my daughter.  And exactly three years later I had to say goodbye to my soul mate.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”

Elizabeth Gilbert,
Eat, Pray, Love

 My heart will never be the same because of Teresa.  She came into my life for a purpose and just as quickly she left me.   We had a lifetime to learn in those three short years.  She taught me so much .  Much of it too deeply personal to share.   We gave her a family but God sent her to us to accomplish so much more than we could ever give to her.

As Jenny so eliquently stated- " You could see the depth of her soul in her eyes".

How do you go on with a piece of your soul missing?

It helps to stay busy during the day and the girls really help with that.  Nights are very hard.  This is when I can still hear her sweet little voice saying-
"Really Mom!?!?"
"  I Love You More- I just can't help myself"
"What Princess should I be tomorrow?"
" Good night Jesus, I love You "
" Can I get my ears pierced tomorrow? "
"Gemma is going to be the prince again tomorrow and I am going to be the Princess "
"one more Huggy Huggle"
"One more kiss"
"Good Night- I love you more"

She loved going to Church and singing The Alleluia.  You could hear her all the way to heaven.


A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.
WE were given a GREAT GIFT in Teresa.  And now she is the Gift for the entire world to share.  She was pure LOVE and wanted to give everyone a Huggy Huggle. Each night as she said her prayers, she taught me so much ... The words and feelings that would come out of her heart , I know were right from God.  I would sit there in awe  as she would pray and  thank God for this Blessing of Teresa.

We love you more Sweet Princess!


Anonymous said...

Ann- I am so sorry. I can not imagine the pain. I do have to say that though following you and Teresa showed me so much. Mostly I appreciate time with my family a lot more and do not anymore focus on little not so important things. I think of you and Teresa often. And I agree she showed us all so much. I try to give more huggy huggles to my friends and family. Please know this. I wish I could say the pain will fade. No parent should outlive their child. I pray that you keep staying busy and cherish your memories with your wonderful family. Me? I still beat myself about not putting her on the swing that day. I think I will carry that guilt with me forever. But I learned from her too. I did. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

She was somehow my soulmate too and I never even got to meet her .. Except for a surprise and weird visitation into my room that was enough to wake me up and see her here in California while she struggled to survive.. I know it was her .. Like I said weird but real nonetheless.. So sad

Raelyn said...

This post has touched my deepest emotions. My deepest emotions. Plus, it has redefined my definition of the word "soul mate".
I am sending you a huggy-huggle. From my heart to yours.

Anonymous said...

What a lucky Mom you are to have been blessed with the amazing job of being her Mom! Keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless you all!

Green Family said...

Thinking about about you and your family every day and sending hugs from Arizona. We've never met...but from one mother to another...I think you are amazing. As a counselor, I see too many family not there for each other. So...even though I tear up when I check in on you guys by reading...I also smile seeing the love, support, faith and compassion. I thank Teresa and all of you for that.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Ann, I don't have words...much love to you and your blessed family. I was telling a young friend about Teresa and we cried together. She sent me this sweet quote from Winnie the Pooh that I'll share with you and your girls.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

You(we) were so very blessed with Teresa's life. I will never forget her.

Love, hollym

Anonymous said...

beautiful and extraordinary special. A soulmate to cherish. forever...
warm regards,
Claudia Huisman, The Netherlands

Wanda House said...

How fortunate you were to have these three years with Teresa. She was so very fortunate to have you and Ed for her parents and to have all the brothers and sisters she had. You could tell how much all of you loved her and she loved you. The campus priest at the university where I work wrote me the following:
"May you allow your grief its time and expression. And even in the face of the sadness of this great loss may you be filled with deep gratitude for all you’ve been blessed with in your time with your dear husband."

May you be filled with deep gratitude for all you you've been blessed with in your time with dear, beautiful, precious Teresa. May God give you the peace and comfort you need at this time.

PatL said...

Ann, I wish there was a way to put to paper the feelings that are all inside my heart right now. Teresa has changed me in such a powerful way. My outlook on life, human spirit, power of prayer, listening to and being obedient to the call of the Lord is so much stronger, deeper, powerful. Everyday since June 28, I have woken up between 3 - 4:30 am with Teresa vividly on my mind. Sometimes I am speaking her name as I awake. I make sure to pray and ask the Lord to use me for His work, keep me sensitive to His plan. Then, again, I think about Teresa and all of the memories shared by your family and the new friends on fb, slowly I can go back to sleep for a short time, before I get up to start my day and again stay tuned into the family of Pray for Teresa B. Thank you Ann, for sharing Teresa.

Anonymous said...

Thank You Ann For Sharing Teresa's Story. I Know You Are Missing Your Soul Mate. I Keep All Of You In My Prayers. Great Pictures Of You All In China. We Were In China The Same Time You Were. Our Sweet Anna Came Into Or Family July 12,2013 In Henan Province. Dave Stanghellini

Erin Burrington said...

I have been without a computer for a month and was trying to catch up on all my blogs that I follow. I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet baby girl. What a little fighter and warrior she was. Heaven has gained a precious princess. My prayers are with you and your family.

Anonymous said...

So heartbroken for you and continuing to pray that God will bring you comfort and strength. - Theresa from Georgia

Chris said...

I don't have adequate words to express my sorrow for you and your family. All I can do now is keep you and your sweet family in my prayers. I have followed your blog (probably) since the beginning. I have a 5-year-old adopted from China (Caroline) and a 3-year-old adopted from the Democratic Republic of Congo (Claudia)...and in process to adopt a 12-year-old girl from Jiangsu Province a of China (will name her Cameron). I feel a special bond with other families who have adopted from China. Much love to you as you put one foot in front of the other each day, taking care of your family. Make sure you take care of yourself.

Aus said...

Good morning my friend - I've started to comment several times and just couldn't finish...

What you said is so true - so much we feel your pain...and so much we wait to run with Teresa one day...and run we will!

hugs - continued prayers - aus and co.

Anonymous said...

Ann, My father in law passed away on July 1st close to the same time. He loved having kids all around him all the time, so I can just imagine he and Teresa entering Heaven together. I didn't read your blog for over a week while we were going through many of the same things that your family was...when I did open all I could do was sob at the loss of this little angel. I never met Teresa or your family but I do feel as if I have somehow. I cannot imagine at all the pain and loss...I am praying for you and your family....Teresa left a mark on this world and I for one won't forget about her. I am blessed to read this blog and that you have shared your precious family with us all. sending lots of hugs!!Love, AnnC in TN

Brian Harriman said...

Ann, I've read 85% of your Blogs but barely scratched reading the comments on them. I don't know if this is a topic which has been addressed yet but have you been approached about making a movie? Teresa's story needs to be heard far and wide. You have blogged her life with such detail with photos, Blogs and videos that her story would carry well into film. There are millions more people who could be touched your little angel. People need to understand about organ donation, adoption, and special needs children. While money isn't the most important part of this it would go a long way toward helping your other kids, paying off loans and replenishing your retirement funds. It would also help if you chose to adopt again and it would bring many large donations to the organizations and hospitals you've been so close to and help countless other orphans around the world. Ann, I think anyone who has followed Teresa's story would want for this film to be made and I guarantee some big names producers would love to do this for you and your family. This may well be Teresa's chance to live on in the hearts of many more people for many years to come.
God bless you and your family.

Geri Laubscher said...

Ann, I think of you and your family daily and pray God's comfort for you. Little Teresa touched my life too and I prayed and cried with you. Teresa's story is beautiful and an amazing one of love for each other, God and family. Teresa has touched so many lives and her story should and i believe will continue. God's blessing on all of you. ♥

Elaine said...

Ann, I found your blog through a friend of mine just a few days ago. As I read Teresa's story and looked at her pictures something seemed so familiar. Something tugged at my heart. When I saw her little arm and her Chinese name I realized she was the same little girl my husband and I had inquired about adopting. They agency had sent her information to us but told us that several families were interested in her. I still have her pictures on my computer. I always wondered what happened to her. My prayer was that the family God chose for her brought her home and loved her and did everything possible to have her needs met. That prayer was answered. I can't imagine the pain you and your family are going through and my prayers are with all of you. Teresa left a legacy that should be honored and told over and over. Thank you for sharing her story. Thank you for giving her the greatest gift of all, the gift of love. May God give you and your family the peace that transcends all understanding.

Teresa said...

You know I have been following Teresa's story since she was little LuFang looking for a family. I was delighted that you named her Teresa Caroline (my name and my Chinese daughter's name). That connection and Teresa's personality kept me following your family. Seeing these photos from her China days make me smile because I see all the jewelry she is wearing and her princess personality was already shining through!The world is a better place because Teresa's story brought people together for a common goal and she was able to shed light on the plight of special needs kids and special needs orphans around the world. Perhaps that was her purpose all along. Know that you are getting huggy huggles from around the world for your family.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your amazing story! It is amazing families like yours that reminds me of why I choose nursing and pediatrics. Your love is one in a million and she is blessed everyday. Thank you!