My sweet girl, I have to apologize to you. You see for the past 23 days, since you went to Heaven , I have been doing something very wrong. I have not been living, just exsiting. It takes every bit of energy I can muster just to get out of bed in the morning. Most of the day it is too difficult to even breath. I was going through the motions of life but not feeling any emotion except tremendous grief at not having you here to hug and kiss.
I would be lying if I didn't say, I wish I could go back to that day and SCREAM, "NO DON'T DO IT !!!!!"
But I know that was not Gods Will.
I realized how I have been living for the past 23 days was wrong because this is not how you lived . You never just existed you LIVED with a capital L! You woke up every morning full of life and energy ready to enjoy every minute of the day . As difficult as it was for you to breath you never complained and you never sat down. You wanted to see and do everything. You never let half a heart , damaged lungs , a small arm and the tremendous lack of oxygen to all of your organs stop you from LIVING! You had such a strong will to live and enjoy life. You spread love with your endless hugs to everyone. And you always had something nice to say about everyone, especially if they had on sparkly shoes like you. Your energy lit up the room as soon as you came in it. Your soul was full of wonder and magic.
I will not live like this any more. I will live the rest of my life like you did.
Every night at dinner we all share something good that we did for another person that day. We also talk about you and how you lived your life so full of love. We each share our favorite memory of you and how we are going to try and live like you did, full of love for others. Your sisters have so many happy memories of you. We now give two hugs to your sisters and two kisses , one from us and one from you. Love was just one of the many lessons you taught us and because of you I can love more.
Because of you T, I am a better person. It was an HONOR and a PRIVILEGE to be your Mother.
" You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love."-Henry Drummond
Sweet baby girl, you were pure Agape LOVE .
Definition: Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible.