Thursday, November 18, 2010
Actually it has been one of those weeks.
This is what I have felt like lately . This picture says it all.
The realization of Teresa's health has really hit me this past week. Right now she is doing great but I know this can change with the blink of an eye as we found out last month when she went into heart failure with a common cold.
With every passing day I become that much more in love with her and coming to grips with the possibility of losing her at any time is just heart breaking. She can now talk to us in perfect English and the conversations I have with her are just amazing . Her depth of understanding is astonishing . When I ask her how she feels she ALWAYS says " Mom, I feel fine". I do not think she knows how very ill she really is, or she just does not let it bother her. She is always saying how happy she is. Tonight in the car we were listening to a princess song and she said, " Mom , I am so happy , I love this song". When Ed comes home from work each night she waits by the door saying, " Mom , when is my best friend coming home ? , I love Daddy , I am so Happy ". Eating Chinese food... " I love Chinese food, I am so happy".
When we took the leap of Faith and adopted a child that we knew was not going to live very long , we new we would love her and the possibility of losing her would be hard but we wanted her to have a family and a life filled with all of the things every healthy child has and enjoys. What we didn't fully anticipate was how incredibly special she would be and how her eyes captivate you as if you could see right into her soul . Her personality is magical , her love for life is awe-inspiring , her depth of understanding is exceptional and she gives the sweetest kisses ever. The thought of losing all of this is hard to conceive.
I am sure when the Saints were being fed to the lions , they didn't fully understand Gods plan for them either.
I am just so tired of trying to figure things out. Life is so unfair for some and others ... well they seem to have everything.
Children should not suffer. I will never understand this , it is wrong on every level . Praying and studying the bible has not given me any peace with this .
Some things will just have to wait until I meet God face to face . My list of things to discuss is growing longer and longer.
Posted by Our Family at 11/18/2010 07:28:00 PM