Teresa is doing so well. Thank you everyone for all of your prayers for her !
She continues to adjust so well to everyone and everything. Gemma and Teresa have become best friends. (they are just 3 months apart in age ) . They play together so well. Whenever they are apart they are so lonely , as soon as they are together again they hug each other like they have been apart forever.
Eating is still a challenge. Teresa is a picky eater with no appetite.
Sleeping has never been a problem ,she usually sleeps from 9-10. Before she falls asleep she serenades us with her favorite songs (sung in Chinese) and then she tries to sing her new songs in English. We have her sleeping in a pack and play in our bedroom for now so we can keep a closer watch on her at night. She also MUST kiss and hug everyone before going to sleep(even if one of the girls is already asleep ,she tip toes in their room and quietly kisses and hugs them ). When she wakes in the morning she is just as sweet. She will stand up and say "Hi Mama I love you" and give me the biggest hug.
Her transition to our family continues to amaze me. She is so happy and in love with everyone. She has not had any bonding problems or grieving. It's like she has always been a part of us .
To look at her you would not believe her heart is so ill. I have been trying to educate myself as much as possible on her condition. Everything I read always ends the same, "This condition is fatal". I am not ready to accept that. I keep trying to find a cure,a fix or solution for her heart, reading more literature , studying different procedures ,anything to make her live longer. Then I realized what I was doing. I was trying to control GODS plan for her life. It was going to be the ending that I wanted and I was going to find a way to save her. Teresa's entire life has been in GODS hands since she was born . She should have died shortly after birth , but she didn't . She will be 4 on Christmas day , her heart should not still be beating , but it is . Not by my doing but by GODS.
How do you prepare to welcome a child into your family knowing you will love them instantaneously , unconditionally forever and then at the same time accept that you must let them go ?
I struggle with this everyday .
We are still learning to take life one day at a time.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
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15 comments:
She is truly one happy little girl to have her very own family. I continually pray for Teresa. If He chooses, He can keep her heart beating no matter what the doctors say. Her little heart is certainly filled with a lot of love. I pray for peace for your family with many happy times to come.
Blessings,
DeLora
I've followed your blog-- you have a lovely family. I just wanted to write that I don't think you are trying to control God's plan by researching and looking for a cure-- for a way. God made us with the ability to develop cures, he created a world with resources to develop cures-- your are doing great-- better than great.
She is a truly precious little girl. I agree with Reena, she deserves a shot at life, the more she grows and thrives the more she spreads his story.
OH! She sounds like an amazing little girl! How lucky you are to have her. Why is it so difficult to leave things in God's hands when we know he is, well... GOD? Praying for your little girl!
I pray for your sweet Teresa nightly. I pray that if it is His will, that He heal her heart and her lungs. I pray for strength and courage and peace for you all. She has already touched so many lives!
Oh Ann,
I love to read about your precious family and sweet Teresa. I hear your heart when you say that you're trying to be God...to control her outcome. Striving to control what you cannot is hard on you...faith expands (as does the peace it brings) when we TRUST that His purposes are PERFECT. You are so wise.
I too pray for a miracle, for healing. At the same time I am fully aware that the Bartlinskis are experiencing miracles everyday.
To love and risk everything, no matter the cost...this is what you've chosen...this is how you've responded to God's love for you. He was the first who loved completely, KNOWING that we were frail and in spite of our weaknesses. You are a living testimony...a picture of that Divine love.
And for those around you, even dear family members who question this choice of loving and sacrificing for your dear children...you might consider that they will have an entirely different tune when we're all dead and standing before God...you have chosen this life, indeed...and you have chosen BEST.
I am so proud to call you my friend!
Hi,
We are also praying for a miracle every day. We know anything is possible if we believe. I also think researching and educating yourself is OK with God. He gave us the ability to think and learn, and create new technology. Sometimes I think He wants us to meet Him half way, do our best and try hard to do the right thing, and then He will complete the task if that is His will.
May God continue to bless you family,
Lee Ann
What an amazing little girl. Teresa and all of you are in our prayers every day.
A miracle has already happened... you found each other. You each have lessons to teach and to learn and you have so much love to share. Thank you for sharing your family and showing us what Grace really is. Teresa is a blessing that you are sharing with strangers. Thank you. You and your family have taught me to focus the important things (family, health) and to let everything else work itsself out in its own time.
Thank you.
My answer to your question at the end is "only by God's grace and love flowing through you."
I thought our baby girl would not live to make it to the US when we arrived in China almost two years ago today and found her in heart failure. Her doctors here first told us they were not sure of a surgical option. They found one and today she is healthy.
As I watched her in her little dance class today, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I thought to myself a thought I've had many times, "If only for one day with her, it was all worth it."
I know you understand that thought too personally as you think of your Teresa. But the truth is, she needed a family for whatever time she has on this earth, and God could not have chosen a more loving one. I just with more families would step out and see and feel what we have: the blessing of a child whose paperwork and even reality says their time is short on this earth. As you know though, they are VERY SPECIAL and to have the privilege of being their Mommy ... there is no place I'm convinced on this earth that is nearer to the heart of God.
Please know I'm praying. I am not where you are as our DD is right now healthy but her lifespan is not expected to be long, and our new son has a major complication in his heart that would be "catastrophically fatal" if it ruptured. There is no clearcut surgical answer for him at this point in time. Thankfully it is stable now.
All of that to say I understand some of what you're feeling. It is OK to be angry, sad, and everything else in between. Please feel free to email me anytime. I'd be honored to just listen or cry with you or whatever you need.
In Christ,
Leslie, Proud Mommy to five, 3 of whom came home from China with special hearts
I don't know if you ever prayed for our Princess Chrissie, but if you did, you'll know us from my blog at www.AllArePreciousInHisSight.blogspot.com.
We adopted Chrissie from Serbia in Oct. 2009, knowing she had a "not compatible with life" heart condition. Chrissie went to Heaven May 19, 2010, just 7 short months after we brought her home, but the joy she brought our family during that time is something I can't even describe. Every bit of pain we have now was worth it. Chrissie was worth it.
I won't lie and say it's easy by any means, but that's not the life God calls us to, as you know. Teresa sounds SOOOO much like Chrissie. Joyful. Smiling. Happy. I love you, Mommy. Little appetite. Picky eater. (Only liked chocolate!) Had to hug and kiss everyone goodnight, no matter what. These are the precious memories we have of our Christyn Joy Patterson, and she was so worth it.
I know Teresa is worth it, too. Enjoy every moment with your cheerful and joyful princess. Cherish these times. Praying for you!
Ann and family - please know that our family prays for you guys every day - not so much for 'the cure' (that would be cool however - if the Father would take the hint we'd love that - I know He could do it!) - but for 'healing'....that thing that happens and is happening in your lives!
We've adopted 3, and know many more both here in IRL that have adopted - and in our family as well as others I always look for those words "like they've always been here" as the sign that it's all good....that's a kind of healing....T with her siblings and parents....that's a kind of healing. I could go on and on - but you get the idea.
You guys are absolutely wonderful, and however Teresa's health develops....just know that from here it looks like miracle's are happening every day!
hugs - aus and co.
Before Teresa's heart cath last month we prayed for her every night before dinner, but I haven't mentioned her since, but still visit here frequently myself. Yesterday, the International Lady of Fatima came to our church (I believe your family is Catholic, if not PLEASE google this!) Before bed Wednesday I told my girls they needed to think of a few very special things or people to petition for in front of the statue because she has been known to perform miracles. My nine year old said "mommy, I'm going to pray for the little girl who just came home from China and needs the new heart, maybe she can get one if I ask the Lady of Fatima." This brought tears to my eyes for so many reasons!!!! I believe she is very powerful, I'm so glad my sweet girl remembered your sweet girl!!!
All I can say is that by the looks of it, that is one HAPPY girl. I pray everyday that God heals Theresa's heart because in my mind she deserves it and she belongs in your family. I admire you and your family, because I honestly don't know if I could do what you did.
Thinking of you and rejoicing in her delight-praying that HIS will be to heal her heart....hugs to you and yours
Donna
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