The Bartlinski Bunch

" Teresa "

" Teresa "

Teresa "Fang Fang " Bartlinski

Teresa was born on December 25, 2006 in China. She was born with a very complex heart condition. In July 2010, GOD added Teresa to our family through adoption. We have been blessed with 9 wonderful children. Gods grace has woven us together as a family. Upon bringing Teresa home from China we unfortunately learned she not only needed a heart transplant but also a lung transplant. Her doctors feel she would not survive this operation. Please help us to pray for a miracle for Teresa's heart and lungs to be healed. She is a very special little soul who has touched so many lives around the world ...

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Dear Teresa- Tiaras

Dear Teresa,

I think by now the world knows how you loved to be a princess and wear your tiara.   You would wear a tiara to bed every night and I would have to take it off of you once you fell  asleep.  When anyone would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you would always say " a real princess. " I am quite sure you are a real princess now in Heaven.

For the past three months I have awoken  at 4 am every night after having a dream about you .  They are mostly about how much we all miss you  terribly still.   But last nights dream was different.  I dreamed Dad and I were living in a different world. One where people were trying to harm us.  The only way we were protected from them was to keep your princess Tiara on our heads.  The whole dream was about trying to keep the tiara from falling off.  Once we had it on we were happy and safe.

I wasn't sure what to make of this dream at first,  but Daddy and I both kind of  figured it out.   Lately we have been facing a lot of challenges.  We always knew that following  God and doing His Will would come with challenges.  Through all of it our faith has only grown stronger.    For what ever reason God is allowing these  trials to occur.   We will trust in God and wait for Him to lead the way.

Another challenge that we are facing is gief.  Just when I  think we are   having a good day out of the blue it hits again.  I walk by your little jacket hung where you left it from last spring and I can still smell the sweetness of your little cheeks on the hood, pieces of your hair are still on the hood and your little sleave rolled half way up.  Your tooth brush still sits in the bathroom next to mine.  I can't bear to throw it away.  Your little shoes that you loved so much are still sitting next to the door. All your princess dresses are still hung , your piano awaits the  beautiful songs you would serenade me with and your chair at the dinner table has your name on it from when you so proudly brought it home from school.

Our world stopped on July 1, 2013.  But the rest of the world went on.  Our life was forever changed.

The death of a child is like no other pain in the world.  We thought we were so prepared for it.  We knew all along it could be a possibility.
 When I was 11 years old I lost my Mother to Cancer.  At the time I thought this was the worst pain anyone could feel but I was wrong.  Losing a child is so different. There really are no words to be able to describe the pain.  Only someone that has gone through this grief can understand.  I believe that losing my Mother at such a young age was preparing me for what was to come later.   After  my Mother passed away I knew I wanted to become involve in Hospice care.   When I was older I volunteered  in Hospice.  I helped several people transition from this life to Heaven.  I wanted to help others  not die alone because I felt so helpless when my Mother died all alone.  After volunteering  for several years God lead us to adoption.  With each of our daughters adoption , God was still preparing us for more.
We have been so blessed by adoption. It is amazing how God orchestrates and plans things a little at a time.  I keep trying to remember this as I am one who likes to have things accomplished yesterday.

As we are continually faced with so many challenges it is nice to know that God is in complete control and we just have to Believe and Trust.    We will not be discouraged.  Tired and worn , yes ,but we will not give up on what has been set before us.
We do not believe that God started us on this path to give up because the road has become hard.

Teresa , I am trying to have your strength and endurance.  You motivate me each day to live as you did with complete Faith ,Hope and Love.

 We would be so grateful for prayers for endurance.   Also Emilia is having a big surgery on Tuesday to lengthen her left and right femur and remove the rod from her arm.  She faces each surgery with such bravery.  She doesn't complain and she works really hard at regaining her strength.  For those that know her you know how determined she is to succeed at what ever she tries.  When we adopted Emilia , she could not walk .  Her legs were twisted and bent backwards.  She swung her one leg up around her neck to keep it out of her way.  A very caring and knowledgeable Doctor rebuilt her arms and her legs when others told us to amputate.  She has over come so much and she continues to improve and grow stronger every year.  What a blessing this Doctor has been! 

Thank you Teresa for keeping us focused on what is important in life.  We love you more sweet girl and we will continue to wear your your Tiara!


likeschocolate said...

Praying for your family!

Anonymous said...

I think about you and pray for Teresa, you and your family every day - even though we have never met. I will continue to do so and continue to wish that I could do something more. I pray for continued courage and strength and for moments of comfort and peace in the midst of your grief. I am also praying for a successful surgery and quick recovery for Emilia and for blessings for all of your children. - Theresa from Georgia

Anonymous said...

Praying For All Of You. Special Prayers For Emilia On Tuesday. - Dave & Family In NY.

Wanda House said...

Praying for you and your family. Will specifically pray for Emilia as she goes through surgery tomorrow and through the healing process. May God continue to give you peace and comfort as you continue to grieve the loss of your precious Teresa.

Jen Link said...

Continued prayers for you and your family. Stay strong together. Prayers for Emilia. These children and their strength amaze me. Our son is the same way. He amazes me how fast he bounces back from each surgery. Please keep us updated.

Jen Link

Debbie Sauer said...

Sending prayers for Emilia. Please keep us updated. Blessings

Rita and John said...

Oh, Ann. So much to bear...I hope you feel Teresa with you still. You all are in our prayers, especially Emilia tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ann,

Amazing, the dreams that you have, and their meaning... Also, I understand you have been facing a lot of grief with the loss of your mother at such young age, helping people at the hospice and recently Teresa dying. Plus all the concern over your other children... I don't know you but from what I read I think you are coping with everything so well! You and your husband are such brave people and your commitment to orphans is unique. I am sure Teresa will be with Emilia when she gets her operation, and she'll be with you to help you deal with this too... That's the beauty of Angels: always there for you in some form or shape. Thinking of you a lot from The Netherlands, hang in there Ann! Warm regards, Claudia Huisman, mom to 2 kids from China...

Becky Browder Neustadt said...

Oh, Ann. I hear and feel your pain and I hear and feel your hope. Thank you and God bless you and your family. Blessings on Emilia's progress and prayers that today's surgery is effective and an easy recuperation.

Becky Browder Neustadt

Marina said...

Thank you for this blog post. Your strength and trust in God is such a strong testimony. Teresa will never be forgotten!!!