The Bartlinski Bunch

" Teresa "

" Teresa "

Teresa "Fang Fang " Bartlinski

Teresa was born on December 25, 2006 in China. She was born with a very complex heart condition. In July 2010, GOD added Teresa to our family through adoption. We have been blessed with 9 wonderful children. Gods grace has woven us together as a family. Upon bringing Teresa home from China we unfortunately learned she not only needed a heart transplant but also a lung transplant. Her doctors feel she would not survive this operation. Please help us to pray for a miracle for Teresa's heart and lungs to be healed. She is a very special little soul who has touched so many lives around the world ...
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Dreaming...

I dreamed when we took the huge leap of faith to adopt Teresa that just maybe her medical condition was wrong. I dreamed just maybe she didn't need a heart /lung transplant. Just maybe we would bring her home, love her unconditionally , show her all the joys of having her own family , take her to the best Doctors and Hospitals and they would say , "We can help to fix her broken heart", AND we would all live happily ever after ... But that dream is slowly fading.

For a while it seemed like just maybe, there would be help for her broken heart . Or maybe that is just what we chose to hear. Maybe we did not want to hear the BUT...

Teresa's health has definitely deteriorated over the past month . She now requires oxygen full time and she tires very easily .

Have you ever closed your eyes , prayed for a miracle, dreamed of a miracle , only to wake up and realize that dream has not come true?

We felt we were so prepared , so ready to accept any outcome . As long as we loved her everything would be all right . Whatever was Gods Will we would accept , and we still do , BUT ...

Last week we were advised to prepare an Advanced Directive plan for Teresa. I am not ready to do that . That Is Gods Job. The plan for her life has always been in His hands , not ours.

Someone asked if we would do it all again . Would we have adopted Teresa knowing all the pain and sacrifices . The pain was never hers to carry alone. The sacrifices were ours to carry . And YES, we would have chosen to do it again had we known then what we know now. Teresa would have never known the love of having her own family and we would have missed the joy of seeing life through her eyes even though it came with tremendous sacrifices .

Sometimes Gods Will can only be viewed through tear filled eyes ...

44 comments:

Yvette said...

Emence hugs, I can't even imagine. But please be assured that she and your love for her have given so many the courage to adopt the unknown, the unadoptable, the ones no one else wanted.

Joyce said...

Im so very sorry but hope that you treasure every moment that God gives you with her on this earth.

KHM said...

My heart aches for you all. She is a little light to this world.
I'll pray for you all.

The Jiu Jiu said...

Even the brightest of lights sometimes flickers; while I know the prognosis is far from good, I cannot & will not (as with you, I know) give up hope. This world needs more Teresas in it, especially yours.

As hard as it is, I would recommend completing an Advance Directive; I work healthcare and can vouch for the presence of that document saving precious minutes during a crisis. It is not a goodbye or a surrender -- most of my family has individual ADs already, and I'm in the process of updating mine. It's not a giving up of hope, it's a way of preserving it and making sure all aspects of life are the way we want them (to the limits of what we can control).

Keeping Teresa and her whole family in my thoughts... Mi Sheberakh Avoteinu...

Aus said...

Oh Ann - what Teresa has experienced since her adoption has been a gift - every child should know the love of a family - your family! You guys are a Gift...

God's Blessing on all you guys - prayers - and hugs...

aus and co.

Reena said...

Dear Ann-- my heart breaks for Teresa and all of you. Your family is in my prayers.

Christina said...

Do know that you have made a wonderful impact on Teresa's life as she as on yours. I am praying for Teresa and your family.

Love for Lilly Yin said...

I remember praying for Teresa when she still did not have a family. Still praying for her now too. I am so happy for the joy and hope you have brought to her life.

Julia said...

I never comment on your blog but I am a faithful reader because I love your kids... and Teresa - Oh sweet Teresa - she just makes me smile every time I see her. I am in grief along with you as I have been hoping and praying too that she would beat all her heart issues. I am crying as I post because I can't imagine your pain. Know that even though I rarely post - My prayers are with you. My heart has been deeply touched by your family and especially by sweet Teresa.

Amy (in PA) said...

Your faith and your family are inspiring! To love changes your world forever and the souls touched are never the same! Your little sweet pea, Teresa, has and will continue to change the lives of those who know her and those who hear her story. We don't know you personally, but just know that your step of faith has changed the world.

Rita and John said...

Oh, Ann. Teresa is such a blessing to you and your family is such a blessing to Teresa. I'm sorry that your dream hasn't come true (yet?). We are keeping you all in our prayers.

Tara Anderson said...

Your family is in my prayers....

Laura said...

I cannot imagine the pain...praying for your family, and especially for Teresa!

Jessica said...

We will be praying for you as well, praying for healing, peace, and the blessings that only He knows you need.

Terri Fisher said...

You are not alone on this journey. So many people loved Teresa from the very beginning and prayed for her to find a family--and now they love you and pray for you as you parent her for as long as God gives you. May God's love and grace sustain you through the days ahead. His plan for Teresa--and you--is perfect!

Kerri said...

Your family has changed Teresa's life and have made it possible for Teresa to touch so many lives! Our prayers are with your entire family. She is such a brave, beautiful girl... truly a gift from God!

Allison said...

Even though we've never met, Teresa has blessed my life with her sweet spirit. I am keeping her and all of you in my prayers.

roomforatleastonemore said...

I am so sorry.

I am also so proud of your courage and faith and uncompromising believe that Teresa's life is solely in God's hand. Your witness is making our Father so proud. People who don't know Him are reading.

Big Heart Hugs and Many Prayers for God to hold you and Teresa in His mighty arms,
Leslie

Susie said...

Teresa is a miracle, a living, breathing miracle and example to so many of us. Thank you for sharing her with us. I continue to pray for strength and peace for all of you as well as complete healing for Teresa. She just radiates love- the love of God and no doubt also the love of the family who bravely stepped out to embrace her.

Amy D. said...

Tears here...as I don't want to imagine this world without Teresa in it...as I know you do not. I am praying still for her miracle...God is able!

You are her gift in this life...as she has been for all of you, and for all of us in the wings. Thank the Lord almighty that she is able to be truly living the life God intended for her right now...with a family that cherishes her.

God bless...and much love...
Amy D.

Sherry said...

Hugs to you and the family. We do not know each other personally but we share the same Father. May God hold your family near and I pray for comfort and healing. In His hands i place your family

Sherry in VA

Anonymous said...

God Bless You

Teresa said...

No matter the outcome, Teresa's life is and will always be a miracle. Both in her endurance through this medical condition and through the amount of lives she has touched and will continue to touch. This would not have happened if she was spending her last days in an orphanage.

No matter what, she is a miracle and we will always be praying.

living4him5 said...

Ann,

We are in the process of adopting a little girl from China with a serious heart condition as well. One doctor asked us if we were "for sure" she was still alive. Your blog, your Teresa, your faith has been an inspiration to me as I have had many moments of complete fear and doubts.

My heart breaks for Teresa and your family. I am on bended knees praying for your baby girl.

The Lord is MIGHTY to save!!!!!

hugs,
Amy

Debbie said...

May the Lord bless you and keep you. Praying for peace for your family.

Paige said...

Praying for your sweet family now. Teresa has touched so many lives, thank you for sharing her with this bloggy world and allowing God to use you and your family. I am so very sorry for the pain you are experiencing now and will continue to pray for a miracle for precious Teresa.

Jennifer P said...

Thank you for sharing your heart Ann. Praying for Teresa and God's plan for her life. We have adopted under similar circumstances and also wouldn't change anything. This is when you know that God knows best!

Laine said...

I don't know how I missed this post! we pray for Teresa everyday...but now we will pray even more...right now I don't have words to pray but our Father knows...
Sending so much love your way from AL,

Mama to Mia said...

No words can touch your pain but know that so many of us are holding you up in our thoughts and prayers. Teresa almost feels like our own daughter, we have followed her journey so faithfully. In her short life, Teresa has seen love and faith personified and lived out in her own family--I cannot think of a greater gift you could have given her (or any child). She has had a life surrounded by supportive sisters close to her in age, older brothers who adore her, and a huge extended family who thinks the world of her. And in terms of a legacy, her life, however long it will be--and none of us know--will always live on in the hearts of those who love her and those of us who got to know her and loved her through your words.

Sending you faith, sending you courage--

Lynne
Mama to Amelia MeiYun, age 6
Oregon

Lee and Sarah VanGrunsven said...

My heart is breaking reading this. Sending you lots of Prayers

Aaron and Erica said...

My heart is aching for your family. I'm not sure if I've ever commented but I have been reading your blog since you brought Teresa home. Your faith and strength are an encouragement to me. Your sweet girl is being lifted up to the Father, the God of peace, comfort, and healing.

Erica
(mom to another beautiful heart princess from China)

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

We all hoped and prayed the diagnosis was wrong....while diligently praying that someone was going to take a leap of faith and bring home this amazing little girl who grabbed hold of our hearts so tightly. Many nights I sat in tears praying for a family for "Lucy". And YOUR FAMILY was that prayer come true.

Her decline is just so difficult to accept and understand...but through it all...our lives have been touched by one amazing little girl who loves Jesus with all of her heart...and the family who has sacrificed so much to make all her dreams come true. She loved you from the moment she placed eyes on you. She was never afraid....so joyful to walk along side you as your daughter.

The love of Jesus beams from your precious Teresa. She is a gift to all of us.

Praying for a comfort and a peace that can only come from Him...and may "hope" never leave your side.

You are my hero, Ann.

Love and blessings,
Robin


"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all..."

Sylvie said...

My heart breaks for you and for what never will be, but joy fills my heart anew when I think of Teresa having felt your true love and knowing true happiness. That's what matters.
Sylvie in Canada

Annie said...

Oh Ann, I will continue to pray for precious, sweet Teresa!!!!

Diane said...

I have followed your journey since before Teresa (Lucy :) actually joined your family. We were in the process of adopting our daughter at the same time and I distinctly remember seeing Teresa and thinking what a special girl and hoping her family would find her soon. And you did!!! You are an amazing family who inspire so many families. You are all in my prayers. Keep the faith... Teresa is the miracle, an angel and a blessing.

Lynda said...

Ann,
Continuing to pray for you all, and especially the Lord's peace for you. Teresa's life has been one amazing miracle after another.
Will keep holding on to God's ability to turn any situation around.
God bless and keep you,
The Carr's

Eve Noelle said...

Every child should know the love of a family - and every family should know the love of a child such as Teresa. No matter what G-d's plan is, we have all been blessed to share this journey with her. We continue to pray for her and your family.

Deb Keating said...

Praying everyday for your family and Theresa. Her smile lights up the sky, praying for God to support all of you and see you through this. Praying for a miracle for this precious child.

Lynne said...

Ed and Ann God has placed you in the lives of these little ladies for a purpose.Keep the Faith that He is in charge and give all to His Glory. Take and Love to all.
Lynne Kampe

Monie said...

Teresa and your family will be in my prayers.

fornsc3 said...

God spoke to my husband and I through Teresa, and she is the reason why we are honored to be adding two sweet heart babies from China to our family! We live in VA, but it turned out that we used the same social worker as you, and one of our daughters has HLHS just like Teresa. Only God could orchestrate all that!

In John 14:12-14 Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do ever GREATER things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it"

Heavenly Father, please bring complete healing to sweet Teresa that only you can bring, in Jesus' name!!!!!!

~Emily

Judy said...

Teresa's light has touched so many. My heart breaks for all of you but I will hold on to hope. I will pray for strength for all of you, especially Teresa, but she has so much already. God gave a gift to all of us through your family. Thank you for sharing.

LA said...

I will never stop praying and believing in her miracle. Anything is possible for God. I will also continue to pray for your family. I do not know what God's will is, or His plan, but I know He sent Teresa at the very least to inspire people to pray more and have hope. Whether He brings her home or leaves her here to do His work, either way her life is truly blessed along with everyone who has met her.

God Bless you,

Lee Ann

sierrasmom said...

Ann what a beautiful honest post, I have been following your blog and praying for Teresa since you came home. I will continue to pray for healing for Teresa. I am so sorry that you are facing tough decisions. God's arms are big enough to hold you all!!