This was not the ending that we had prayed for , dreamed about or wished for. But it is the ending that was Gods will. And in the end it was really just the beginning. The beginning of your eternal life in Heaven.
Our prayer was for your heart to be healed and we would all live happily ever after. I believed with all of my heart that this would happen. I believed that God would answer our prayer for you to be healed here on earth and stay in my arms. I BELIEVED!
But I also know that some of our prayers can only be answered once we go home to Heaven . And this was Gods will for you Teresa. I do not understand, but I still BELIEVE.
I believe God is good all of the time, not just when things are going our way.
I believe that one day I will be with you again.
I believe but my heart is still broken. It is broken from my own pain of not having you here, grieving for what was , what could have been.
When you are so close to death, you see everything in a different light. You could see this Teresa, you knew . Your vision was very clear to you , it was in every beat of your heart and it was visible looking through your eyes into your soul.
Your outlook on life was from Heaven. You lived your life with pure love for everyone and everything. You didn't need the most toys or worldly possessions. You were happy just playing in a make believe bus made from a box with Gemma and being surrounded by "Your Family".
Your visions of heaven were magical just like your personality. You would describe to me what you thought Heaven would look like and now you are enjoying it all in it's magical splendor.
I believe this. I believe you are happy, healthy and full of life in Heaven with God.
Life goes on. We are left here without you to Believe that one day we will be together again.
This week we have Doctors appointments, blood transfusions and surgeries to schedule for your sisters, and life goes on.
Is it true you don't really know what you are missing until it is gone? NO! We did not know what we were missing until we had you !
I asked God why????
How could this be His will?
We fought so hard , prayed so hard.
I feel like I am grasping for the hem of Jesus' cloak, trying to hold on. Holding on when all hope seems gone.
But then I am reminded that there is still hope. Hope for life with you again Teresa in Heaven.
God still has much for us to do for him here on earth and it is all because of you Teresa.
Will we adopt again? This is not in "our" plans but if it is Gods will we will not say no to Him.
Teresa, we are going to China very soon. We will be helping to lay the ground work for the new Heart Home in Beijing, the "Love You More Heart Home" named after you T Bear! We will be working along side some very caring, loving people here in America and China. We will be helping to change the lives of orphans , one child at a time, one heart at a time.
We also will be visiting your orphanage. We learned that your orphanage director did not want to release your file for adoption because you were thought to be hopeless. One caring very determined individual fought very hard for you to be considered adoptable. We will be talking to this orphanage director to explain to her just how much purpose your life had and how much purpose EVERY childs life holds . Every child deserves to be loved and have their own family.
I know Teresa that we can not save them all. No one person can help everyone but everyone can help someONE! We will love and help one child at a time.
"We can do little things with great love" - Mother Teresa
You taught us the true meaning of Love Teresa, because you were Agape Love.
We will be bringing with us to China medical supplies. If you would like to help donate any of the items listed below please email me for my address.
1. ECMO cannulas
2. Nonin infant pulse oxymetor sensors
3.Infant vitamin drops with iron
4.Hand sanitizer
5.permethrin cream for scabies
Teresa your life is still touching so many lives around the world!
You are Super Girl!
So beautifully said. Thank you seems so inadequate for sharing Teresa and your journey with us.
ReplyDelete~~~Debbie
Believe - such a simple word - such a powerful one...
ReplyDeletehugs - continued prayers - and success in your future!
aus and co.
I can feel the pain and heartwrenching emotions in your words. To lose a child has to be the most difficult thing to endure and Teresa was such a special girl. I'm glad that you have such faith that will carry you through until you are reunited with Teresa. I'm praying for you all!!
ReplyDeleteAnn,
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for your family but you are such an inspiration. You see I too lost a daughter-- at 18mo Katie was taken away. I still have bad days 18yrs later. But God brought us to adoption after losing Katie and I have 2 from China as well as 4 by birth. One a heart baby too :o) I prayed so hard like many for your Teresa to heal. But I know God takes the young ones because angels are hard to find :o) You blog has brought tears to my eyes and I know Teresa must be looking down and smiling :o)
Hugs across the miles--
Laurie E. in Ohio
Continuing to pray for all of you every day. She was so beautiful in every sense of the word - the first picture in this post is my absolute favorite. Praying that God will bring you moments of comfort and peace each day. - Theresa from Georgia
ReplyDeleteJust Beautiful, Ann! Prayers From New York! - The Stanghellini Family
ReplyDelete