Actually it has been one of those weeks.
This is what I have felt like lately . This picture says it all.
The realization of Teresa's health has really hit me this past week. Right now she is doing great but I know this can change with the blink of an eye as we found out last month when she went into heart failure with a common cold.
With every passing day I become that much more in love with her and coming to grips with the possibility of losing her at any time is just heart breaking. She can now talk to us in perfect English and the conversations I have with her are just amazing . Her depth of understanding is astonishing . When I ask her how she feels she ALWAYS says " Mom, I feel fine". I do not think she knows how very ill she really is, or she just does not let it bother her. She is always saying how happy she is. Tonight in the car we were listening to a princess song and she said, " Mom , I am so happy , I love this song". When Ed comes home from work each night she waits by the door saying, " Mom , when is my best friend coming home ? , I love Daddy , I am so Happy ". Eating Chinese food... " I love Chinese food, I am so happy".
When we took the leap of Faith and adopted a child that we knew was not going to live very long , we new we would love her and the possibility of losing her would be hard but we wanted her to have a family and a life filled with all of the things every healthy child has and enjoys. What we didn't fully anticipate was how incredibly special she would be and how her eyes captivate you as if you could see right into her soul . Her personality is magical , her love for life is awe-inspiring , her depth of understanding is exceptional and she gives the sweetest kisses ever. The thought of losing all of this is hard to conceive.
I am sure when the Saints were being fed to the lions , they didn't fully understand Gods plan for them either.
I am just so tired of trying to figure things out. Life is so unfair for some and others ... well they seem to have everything.
Children should not suffer. I will never understand this , it is wrong on every level . Praying and studying the bible has not given me any peace with this .
Some things will just have to wait until I meet God face to face . My list of things to discuss is growing longer and longer.
You and God will have quite a conversation, Ann. We are praying for a miracle for Teresa.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for giving this girl a family. You have blessed her beyond measure - a little taste of heaven right here on earth. I can't imagine what your thoughts are and I hurt for you. Makes me cherish my children and hold them tight. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteWe too are praying for Teresa. What a sweet little girl. She is so happy and loved.
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for you and for Teresa. It is so incredible that she has such a loving and wonderful family. Although we cannot understand His ways, you are part of his plan and part of Lucy's story. Praying for a miracle for your sweet girl!
ReplyDeleteGood morning guys - the pics of Teresa are just priceless - wow....
ReplyDeleteAnd your thoughts here - we too were touched by Teresa's story - and you and your family will always have our undying gratitude, respect, and just plain awe for stepping into her life and giving her the things all kids should have - family and love. Bless you for being strong enough to answer His call and bring your daughter home!
Teresa is what we call 'an old soul' - she has a wisdom far beyond her years - and she IS happy - and mom - she does feel fine - she means it!
We will hold you guys near to our hearts - and as always keep you in our prayers!
hugs - aus and co.
Still praying hard for you all Ann and especially your precious Teresa!!
ReplyDeleteWe are also still praying for a miracle. Please never give up. Miracles do happen everyday.
ReplyDeleteI think sometimes we see the world and our lives only through our own mortal perception, but for those who believe, we know this is just a short passing moment in the His plan for us. He knows we will live eternally in His presence, healthy and happy. I also am fully aware this does not make it easier for those involved.
Teresa has given many people a reason to become closer to God through prayer, which I believe is part of His plan. Teresa is so happy with your family, and that is priceless. I wonder if she would even still be alive if she was in China now. If God takes her before what we would consider her time, you know she at least knew what it was to be loved and to love others unconditionally. I feel for you, how as a parent you are aware of what could happen. I know it would be hard for me to keep a happy persona up all of the time faced with the possibilities you are. But, do know so many people are still praying that she is healed.
May God heal Teresa and give your family the strength to continue caring for her and each other.
Lee Ann
There was a time when a whole adoption community was working to find a family for your precious Teresa. I prayed that a family would be found...just like yours!! You can tell how happy she is..what a difference a family of love makes. But I can see why your heart is sooo heavy. It struck me recently that my daughter's health issues could go wrong at any time. They probably won't but could. I remember how easy it was at the time of referral to say "sure we will take this child and love her and if she leaves us at least she will have had a family. Today I can not even imagine that possibility!! My prayers are with you and your sweet baby girl!!
ReplyDeleteKathie in NY
khikade@yahoo.com