June 17, 2013

I am not the type of person that is always recapping what happened "this time last year",  what the weather was like..."this time last year" or on this day "last year" we were...

BUT on this day last year...we received "the call" that changed our lives forever.

We were sitting on the beach enjoying the beautiful day.  Teresa was making sand drippies and pretending to be a mermaid princess in the sand.  We had just eaten lunch and were planning on what to eat for dinner.  Teresa wanted shrimpies. Then my cell phone rang.  We had not taken a vacation since Teresa was listed status 1A for a new heart.  We were only going away for three days and all the girls were looking forward to having fun at the beach.  When I saw the number I knew exactly what was about to happen.  On the phone was our transplant nurse.  The conversation was a complete blur. All I heard was,  " there is a heart for Teresa... hurry and get here...

We gathered all of the girls off the beach in record time.  I could hardly breathe as we ran back to Grandmoms Beach house.  I put Teresa in the shower with me because she was covered in sand. We called Alex back home and he would meet us at CHOP with all of our bags. Teresa watched her favorite movie in the car as we drove to CHOP in record time.  She was totally unaware of the magnitude of events about to unfold.

Usually you arrive at the hospital to wait and wait and wait.  But not this time.  Teresa was whisked into a bath and then given a special scrub down.  We met with the Doctors to sign  mounds of paperwork.  The child life specialist, Meredith,  spent the entire time with us and Teresa.  She discussed what was about to happen.   Alex arrived just in time to give Teresa lots of hugs and kisses.  Teresa loved Alex dearly and was so happy to see him.

The nurses tried to talk Teresa into putting on the sterile hospital gown but Teresa was having nothing to do with it.  She was going to wear her princess gown and tiara and that was that.  So off she went to the OR in style, dressed as a Princess.  I rode with her in the bed until it was time to say our final good bye. We kept saying " I love You ".  As the OR door closed , Teresa yelled out " I Love You More".

That day held so  much hope but it quickly turned to sadness.  As soon as she came out of the OR she started having trouble. Cardiac arrest, 30 minutes of CPR, ECHMO for two weeks, two more open heart operations, heart cath, ECHMO cannula braking and nearly bleeding to death in front of our eyes.  For two weeks we watched as Teresa fought so hard to live. 

Each day our hope for a new life filled with all the hopes and dreams for a healthy life for Teresa slowly faded.  After two weeks we knew it was time to say good bye.  On July 1st. , a Berlin Heart was Teresa's last hope .  But it too was not to be.

Slowly Ed and I realized it was not meant to be.  It was Gods Will to unite a world in prayer for two weeks for a little girl born with half a heart ,an orphan whose only wish was to have her own family.  Teresa's story changed thousands of lives all over the world.  God used a little orphan who had nothing except her little panda bear to move mountains in peoples hearts.  She changed lives one heart beat at a time.

For two weeks the resemblance of her suffering with Jesus' was remarkable.   She bleed from her eyes, nose, mouth and chest continuously.  She signed for a drink every time she was awakened. She never complained and gave us the thumbs up when we talked about going home.   It was the holiest two weeks of our lives.  We had never felt as close to God as we did during that time.

I never thought I would be strong enough to hold my daughter as all the machines were turned off and she entered Heaven. From the very begining it was our desire to be Teresa's family and to not let her die alone.  We were not there when she took her first breath but we were there for her last breath.

Death is a very hard thing to deal with . Our faith tells us that Teresa waits for us in Heaven with our Lord.  This gives us tremendous peace.  But being human and having human emotions, I want her in my arms here with me.
We have so many happy memories with Teresa.  But some days memories are just not enough. 

Ed and I knew we wanted to help more orphans in Teresa's memory.  The "Love You More" Heart Home in Beijing will be able to do just that.  If you would like to help us reach this goal in Teresa's memory, all doations can be made to -
Believe In Miracles
P.O. Box21199
Catonsville Md. 21228

OR 0n the Go Fund Me site on the side bar.
All donations are tax deductible!

Thank you for loving our sweet girl, praying for her and supporting our family through such a hard journey.  And YES, we would do it all over again even if we had just loved Teresa for one day , it was all worth it.  For you can not put a price on love.  Yes , our hearts are broken.  Half our hearts went to Heaven with Teresa on July 1.  But through this journey we were touched by an angel here on earth. Gods Will was done.  God is Love!  God is good ALL of the time.

We love you more Teresa!!!!!