Ruth's heart surgery

When we adopted Ruth we knew we would one day have to return to CHOP.  We knew this would be extremely difficult.    The same sights, sounds and emotions from the day we loss Teresa would be hard to relive.  

Ruth was scheduled to have her first surgery to repair her heart on Wednesday September 23.  Her anatomy is very complex.  Being there and going through the same environment as before brought back many suppressed emotions for Ed and I.  We specifically asked not to be in room 11.  Greeting the nurses that took care of Teresa for those 2 weeks was hard. It felt like it was only yesterday we were hugging them and grieving our sweet Teresa and now we were  there again.

Going down the same hall to the OR was not good.  Saying "good bye", was not good. 

 

Why do some children survive and others die?

I just don't know.  When a child goes through a difficult surgery and survives, people say " God must have a great plan for their lives",  " this child is a fighter".

I disagree.  Does this imply that if a child dies that God did not have a great plan for them or they did not fight to live?  

It's nice to say" they are  in a better place"  or " they are out of pain".   I can assure you that no mother feels her child is in a better place other than being in HER arms.  

So as we kissed Ruth good bye , we prayed as we did before with Teresa,  for Gods will to be done and God to be glorified through Ruth's life.

God is always good even when the outcome is not what we pray for.

Ruth did incredible with her surgery.  She was up the next morning walking. We slowly felt relief and comfort knowing she was doing so well.  She has had a few complications along the way but she is making steady progress.  Her pericardial effusion has finally almost dried up after having a drain placed. And it looks like home is not far away!

Walking this journey again was hard and at times almost felt impossible.  But  as I look at Ruth as she is sleeping holding my hand , I know it was all worth it!  I would do it over again 100 times to have the honor of being her Mama. 

God is good all of the time.

Little Hearts Medical

I would love to share with everyone what we have been working on in China.  As many of you know after Teresa passed away it was our mission to help orphans born with CHD in Teresa's memory. For the past 2 1/2 years we have been working to fulfill this mission. We have been working closely with the CCCWA and many orphanages and Foster Homes in China to improve the care of these precious children.  In a few days Executive Assistant Eric Olson heads to China for what we pray will be a fruitful trip! Eric will begin by training the ayis of Peace House Beijing in the basic cardiac assessment of infants, followed by traveling with Holt International to Jinan to assist in the Journey of Hope program. The precious children who are part of that program will soon be available for adoption and Eric will be assisting Holt in their documentation. After the JOH, he will travel to Shanghai for the General Assembly Meeting where the Little Hearts Medical/Holt International Children's Services "Love You More" Cardiac Care Presentation (named in honor of our sweet Teresa) will make its debut to an audience of China's orphanage directors.  Ed and I had wished to attend this momentous event but with recently returning home from China with our two new treasures it was not possible.  I know Eric will do a fantastic job.  As we continue to move to our ultimate goal of opening the "Love You More" heart home in Beijing we welcome all prayers for the continued success of this mission.  If you would like to have a child's file reviewed for adoption or make a donation, please contact me at-  ann@littleheartsmedical.org  .  You can also like our FB page to keep updated, Little Hearts Medical.  We love you more Teresa!

Bend in The Road

"The only road that leads to the destination God desires for us has it's sharp bends."

Two years ago the road we were traveling had a huge bend in it.  How I wish at that time we could have taken a detour.  But I can see now that this  short cut would have lead us into the wilderness. And this was not the end of Teresa's story.
Two years later, we are now on a road less traveled. 

Two little girls have joined our family. This now makes The Bartlinski Bunch...11 amazing children that God has blessed us with.

Ruth and Maria are fitting right in to our "wacky" family. They love all of their sisters and adore their three older brothers.

Our journey on this new road has also lead us to China.  Our bend in the road also put a bend in our hearts.  We spent one month in China working with our partner Little Hearts Medical and our Executive Director, Andrea Olson. Ed is on the Board of Directors and I am the Special Projects Director.  We worked closely with the CCCWA ( China Center for Child Welfare and Adoption ) to improve the care of orphans in China born with heart disease. I could hear Teresa giggling from Heaven as the the Director of The CCCWA said " Yes, we agree , we would like to have you work with us to improve the care of heart children".   As I told him that it is our ultimate goal to build a Heart Home for orphans, he was visibly moved by Teresa  and Andrea's son, Bryce's story and photo albums we presented to him.

Wow!  Two years ago  I only dreamed of this day but now it is a reality.
We have been very busy for the past two months as we prepare for the meeting that will take place with all of the orphanage directors in China as we present to them a training video that will be used to identify orphans with heart disease as they enter the orphanages. This is an incredible step in the right direction to saving more lives.  Had this been done for Teresa her story would have had a different ending.

We also visited  several medical Foster Homes.  We spent time with the children learning about their medical conditions and advocating for them.

We also had dinner with our team of surgeons in Beijing.  This is one of the most dedicated group of people whose hearts really care about the orphans.  Dr. Liu and Ed had such a great time toasting each other.  Dr. Liu calls me his " American Mama".  We met him 2 years ago when we traveled to China to start our road to  building the Heart Home. Last year we brought him to CHOP for 2 weeks to shadow Teresa's team of cardiologists and then attended the annual Cardiac Conference in Florida.  He is an amazing surgeon who has a heart of gold.  What a blessing it was to spend time with them again.

The bend in the road that we thought would break our hearts has lead us on another amazing journey where our lives will be  forever touched by our  angelic  little girl that "loved us more".  Teresa you are still changing lives from heaven and helping orphans to have their own families.


 

 This was written by our Executive Director of Little Hearts Medical,  Andrea Olson.

"Congenital heart disease is the most common birth defect worldwide, affecting approximately one in every 100 children born. An estimated 130,000 children are born with CHD each year in China, and a staggering percentage of those children die by their first birthday.
During our trip to China in May, LHM was asked to meet with the Director of the China Center for Child Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA). Our Executive Director Andrea Olson, Special Projects Coordinator Ann Bartlinski, Board of Directors member Dr. Ed Bartlinski, LHM in-China Coordinators Dennis Yang and Susan Song, and Holt International Children’s Services representative Sue Liu met with CCCWA staff and presented our findings on the state of care of orphans affected by CHD. We were met with compassion, interest, and the spirit of cooperation, and at the conclusion of the meeting we were invited to join hands with the CCCWA in a partnership to work towards the betterment of life for these precious children. It was a powerful moment for our team, as the Olson, Bartlinski, and Lee families (LHM Founders) have all adopted CHD children from China. The battles fought by our children and those of so many we know, and the sweet memory of Teresa Bartlinski and the many other precious children who have passed away, have been our driving force.
We are honored to have been asked to attend the annual General Assembly Meeting of Orphanage Directors taking place in Shanghai in September, to give a presentation on the challenges facing CHD children residing in China’s social and child welfare institutions. Alongside Holt International Children’s Services, Executive Assistant Eric Olson and our in-China Coordinators will deliver the presentation to all of those in charge of China’s hundreds of social and child welfare institutions. We are honored by this invitation, and we ask for your support and prayers as we reach out to touch the hearts and souls of those in attendance. We pray that our message will be effectively communicated, that the importance of early diagnosis and the critical significance of intervention will be understood, and that the directors will leave inspired to do their utmost for the children in their care.
After the Shanghai meeting, Eric will continue on to Shandong Province for the Journey of Hope camp, where he will be sharing our presentation with the ayis of several orphanages there.
We are all too aware that there are many obstacles to obtaining cardiac care for China’s orphans and children living with their families of origin, but by taking one step at a time, building relationships, opening eyes and hearts, and approaching the problems with unbiased minds, fortitude, and spirit, we know we can make a difference.
The primary mission of LHM is the sharing of knowledge between our U.S. based team of pediatric cardiologists and cardiothoracic surgeons and those in China, and that work continues! We are planning more training trips for the upcoming year, including a partnership with a respected organization already rooted deeply in China. We will be continuing the training of advanced interventional catheterization procedures so that more children may be reached earlier, at a cost that will be less prohibitive to families in China, orphanages, and the organizations funding children’s cardiac care.
We will soon be asking the community of families who have adopted CHD children from China to assist us with a special project. Stay tuned!
Thank you for your prayers and your support!"

Two less

There are two less orphans in the world tonight!

Maria and Ruthie are doing great .  They came from very different backgrounds. Maria is  adjusting much faster than Ruth.  Ruth watches everyone and takes everything in.  She is sweet  and kind and very smart. She loves to share with Maria .  But she is guarding her heart and let's us in a little at a time.

Maria is soft spoken and so sweet.  She is silly and loves to play. She has bonded very quickly with us and loves to give hugs and kisses.

Please pray for Ruth's heart.  She is starting to cough and is retaining fluid.  

 

Living

Three years we spent learning how to really live.  This is what Teresa  taught us.  It was not nearly long enough. In this short amount of time our lives took on a different meaning, a different purpose. But in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

She taught us how to live, now she was teaching us how to die.

The moment she died it was as if I was standing before God myself.  He told me that He has her now. It was His turn to hold her. 

I let go, but she took my heart with her to heaven that day.

Life has gone on.  It has been almost two years since that day. The day that our life changed again.

We had learned how to live , how to die and now we are learning how to live again.

This has brought us to China.

We are spending one month in China learning again how to live.

I am the Special Projects Director for Little Hearts Medical and Ed is a Board Member.

Along with Andrea Olson ( executive director) we have come to China to help improve the lives of orphans.

We are spending two weeks in Beijing working with the CCCWA and our partnership , Little Flower along with 5 other medical Foster homes.

The children we have met are precious. Some are too young to know they are orphans. The older children somehow know.

The little ones run to us with their arms in the air to be picked up calling us MaMa, BaBa.

 All the children we have met are special needs, mostly heart children, the ones hardest to place because of so many unknowns.

So today  we are living. We chose joy. We chose to help the forgotten and unwanted.  Every life matters, no matter how short or how long.  

In the face of each of these children I see Jesus.

On July 1,2013, Teresa went to Heaven.

On May 18, 2015, we will adopt our two daughters from China.

What joy! 

The Hot Pot

Last night we had dinner at Ed's favorite place to eat in Beijing, the Hot Pot.

We met Sue , Lily and Andrea and her son Bryce there.

We had a wonderful time catching up with old friends and discussing plans for the future.

Today we visited Agape House and met Maria.   This is a medical Foster home for children with osteogenesis imperfecta. 

She is such a sweet little girl but is very shy. 

She warmed up to us a little and even gave me a kiss.

 

Little Flower

Yesterday as soon as we arrived in Beijing we headed straight to LF.

Ruth is very shy and wanted nothing to do with us.  She will turn 3 in September but is sooo tiny.  She is very dainty and does not like to have food on her fingers or face.  She loves to eat. 

Today she let me hold her and feed her lunch. So we are making slow progress.

We spent the entire day at LF loving all the children.

Andrea will arrive in China tomorrow and on Friday our team will start the process of meeting with medical Foster homes, the CCCWA and establishing plans for the care of heart children.

Going to China

It is with great joy we would like to share that we are adopting again.

We will leave shortly to travel to China to bring home 2 little girls.
Maria Teresa and Ruth Ann!

If you would like to follow along on our amazing journey , we will post updates from China.
More details to come...
You can also follow along on Pray for Teresa B facebook page.

June 17, 2013

I am not the type of person that is always recapping what happened "this time last year",  what the weather was like..."this time last year" or on this day "last year" we were...

BUT on this day last year...we received "the call" that changed our lives forever.

We were sitting on the beach enjoying the beautiful day.  Teresa was making sand drippies and pretending to be a mermaid princess in the sand.  We had just eaten lunch and were planning on what to eat for dinner.  Teresa wanted shrimpies. Then my cell phone rang.  We had not taken a vacation since Teresa was listed status 1A for a new heart.  We were only going away for three days and all the girls were looking forward to having fun at the beach.  When I saw the number I knew exactly what was about to happen.  On the phone was our transplant nurse.  The conversation was a complete blur. All I heard was,  " there is a heart for Teresa... hurry and get here...

We gathered all of the girls off the beach in record time.  I could hardly breathe as we ran back to Grandmoms Beach house.  I put Teresa in the shower with me because she was covered in sand. We called Alex back home and he would meet us at CHOP with all of our bags. Teresa watched her favorite movie in the car as we drove to CHOP in record time.  She was totally unaware of the magnitude of events about to unfold.

Usually you arrive at the hospital to wait and wait and wait.  But not this time.  Teresa was whisked into a bath and then given a special scrub down.  We met with the Doctors to sign  mounds of paperwork.  The child life specialist, Meredith,  spent the entire time with us and Teresa.  She discussed what was about to happen.   Alex arrived just in time to give Teresa lots of hugs and kisses.  Teresa loved Alex dearly and was so happy to see him.

The nurses tried to talk Teresa into putting on the sterile hospital gown but Teresa was having nothing to do with it.  She was going to wear her princess gown and tiara and that was that.  So off she went to the OR in style, dressed as a Princess.  I rode with her in the bed until it was time to say our final good bye. We kept saying " I love You ".  As the OR door closed , Teresa yelled out " I Love You More".

That day held so  much hope but it quickly turned to sadness.  As soon as she came out of the OR she started having trouble. Cardiac arrest, 30 minutes of CPR, ECHMO for two weeks, two more open heart operations, heart cath, ECHMO cannula braking and nearly bleeding to death in front of our eyes.  For two weeks we watched as Teresa fought so hard to live. 

Each day our hope for a new life filled with all the hopes and dreams for a healthy life for Teresa slowly faded.  After two weeks we knew it was time to say good bye.  On July 1st. , a Berlin Heart was Teresa's last hope .  But it too was not to be.

Slowly Ed and I realized it was not meant to be.  It was Gods Will to unite a world in prayer for two weeks for a little girl born with half a heart ,an orphan whose only wish was to have her own family.  Teresa's story changed thousands of lives all over the world.  God used a little orphan who had nothing except her little panda bear to move mountains in peoples hearts.  She changed lives one heart beat at a time.

For two weeks the resemblance of her suffering with Jesus' was remarkable.   She bleed from her eyes, nose, mouth and chest continuously.  She signed for a drink every time she was awakened. She never complained and gave us the thumbs up when we talked about going home.   It was the holiest two weeks of our lives.  We had never felt as close to God as we did during that time.

I never thought I would be strong enough to hold my daughter as all the machines were turned off and she entered Heaven. From the very begining it was our desire to be Teresa's family and to not let her die alone.  We were not there when she took her first breath but we were there for her last breath.

Death is a very hard thing to deal with . Our faith tells us that Teresa waits for us in Heaven with our Lord.  This gives us tremendous peace.  But being human and having human emotions, I want her in my arms here with me.
We have so many happy memories with Teresa.  But some days memories are just not enough. 

Ed and I knew we wanted to help more orphans in Teresa's memory.  The "Love You More" Heart Home in Beijing will be able to do just that.  If you would like to help us reach this goal in Teresa's memory, all doations can be made to -
Believe In Miracles
P.O. Box21199
Catonsville Md. 21228

OR 0n the Go Fund Me site on the side bar.
All donations are tax deductible!

Thank you for loving our sweet girl, praying for her and supporting our family through such a hard journey.  And YES, we would do it all over again even if we had just loved Teresa for one day , it was all worth it.  For you can not put a price on love.  Yes , our hearts are broken.  Half our hearts went to Heaven with Teresa on July 1.  But through this journey we were touched by an angel here on earth. Gods Will was done.  God is Love!  God is good ALL of the time.

We love you more Teresa!!!!!